It's been 9 months since you passed away, yet it feels as if I've lived two lifetimes since then. It's part of this new life I've been thrust into and never wanted.

Honey, I have learned to take one day at a time… if that is too much, I break it up into segments. I make plans and follow them so that I don't have so much time alone… volunteering has been my biggest asset. When I am doing for others I don’t think about myself to much. But there is still the time alone at night…I am working on that. It helps when I am so tired I just fall asleep.

Tom, sometimes I feel like I am learning to go on and other times I feel like it isn't worth it without you, while moving forward I think this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do!!!

Honey, I know that given enough time it will ease and become more bearable; that is my goal - to ride this out the best as I can until the day comes when the hurt doesn't hurt quite so much anymore with the help of Our Lord and Savior.

I love you more;

Ellie

Today is your  "First Birthday in Heaven" and I'm wondering what you'll do, will there be a celebration and a cake to honor you? Are the kitchen angels busy breaking eggs and sifting flour to make you an angel food cake? Is there Turkey Hill ice cream made from snowflakes? Some Hershey's Candy Kisses made from cloud's! Tom, is the angel choir practicing as it gets close to the hour?  Or, will it be just you and Jesus, or all the happy crowds? 

Honey, though I miss you always each and every day it seems to hit me even more because today is your birthday!

Tom, I miss the strength you brought me and the comfort that it gave, and on your birthday it's so hard pretending to be brave. But, I've found hidden courage and it helps to see me through, it guides me and protects me and I know it comes from you, here on earth we shared a life as happy as could be, and I never took for granted all you meant to me.  So I shall spend your birthday dreaming that you're here, helping me to wipe away every silent tear.

Honey, thank you for your endless love that helps me through each day and thank you, for the memories that will never fade away!!!  I won't be there to hug and kiss you and I'm sure I'll feel lonely as I shed some birthday tears, but I know your "Heavenly Birthday" will be your best one ever!!!

Tom, I'm sending wishes to heaven carried to you, upon a prayer to the place where you are now with sweet, tender love and care, I'll hold you in my heart til; I can hold you in my arms, until we meet again. 

 
My Love, as, you celebrate your special day in heaven with our Heavenly Father. I celebrate you! "Happy Birthday" I love you Tom, always and forevermore.

Ellie

This morning I whispered "Happy Birthday" to you my Love and could not let this day end without doing it again. Tom, God had a plan in creating you, when God made you He blessed the world with a very special person!

Honey, thoughts today of our lives together holds a love that will live forever.  I still miss you like it was yesterday, but some days, like today when I have so much trouble just existing.  I try to go on and most days I can accomplish something.

Tom, my tears run down my cheeks as I think of how we used to make plans to spend your birthday together. I remember even when I was working I would take off, every years on May 3rd, if your birthday was on a week day so we could be together. We would always go out to eat, and share quality time together.  I can see your smile and hear your laughter, as I enter our home I am surrounded by your loving heart.

Honey, "I'm missing you on your birthday." I could not send you a card or touch your hand or give you a hug and a kiss, but I know God will take my wishes to you. "Happy Birthday, my Love"

I love and miss you so much;

Ellie